ARIES
Aries find their match in BABÀ AL RUM, the liquor-soaked brioche indicative of Naples, under an active volcano–fitting for this hot-headed fire sign. The champagne cork-shaped pastry actually hails, however, from 18th-century Poland, where King Stanislaus Leszczynski was on a warpath to outdo the usual banquet cake (a very Arian type of confidence). Frustrated by the cake’s ever-present dryness, despite multiple trial rounds, he had an Aries-level bout of anger and flung the cake away; it landed in some rum and what do you know, the liquor-soaked cake was perfect. Aries are also known for barreling headfirst into new creative projects, and though they can certainly come off as intense, blunt, and insensitive, these rams are just passionate passionate people–the exact type of mad scientists capable of making a dessert like babà al rum. Similarly, the first bite of babà al rum will send your taste buds into a boozy spiral, but give it time and the buttery, sweet cake will cut through the alcohol. That said, there’s nothing like an extra shot of rum in your dessert to make you feel as bold, passionate, and ambitious as an Aries. When you do find yourself in the path of a fired-up Aries, some babà al rum–handed from a safe five-feet-away distance–might be your best bet.
Babà; Courtesy of Carraturo Vittorio 1955
TAURUS
PASTICCIOTTO is the perfect pastry for the bulls of the zodiac. From Lecce, Puglia, this delight houses the thickest, densest custard imaginable within a shortcrust pastry–perfect for luxury-obsessed Taureans who aren’t afraid to gild the lily when it comes to life’s pleasures. Pasticciotti were made by chance in the 18th century after Salento pastry chef Andrea Ascalone attempted to make cakes with leftover crust and custard, earning the semi-failed dessert the name “pasticciotto”, meaning “mess”. But one man’s mess is another man’s treat, and pasticciotto quickly became a staple addition to all Italian pastry cases. Taureans, too, often get mislabeled. People call them stubborn (i.e. as uncompromising as a pasticciotto’s crust), but really they’re just fiercely dedicated and deeply dependable; these earth signs can always be counted upon. As the pasticciotto features a contrast between uber-dense custard and hard crust, Tauruses are constantly pulled between relaxation and practicality–which is why you’ll find them eating the same comfort classic everyday (if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it). Meant to be served warm, pasticciotti exude the same homey vibes as Tauruses, who can predictably stay in on a Friday night, donning sweats and cozying up like custard.
GEMINI
The social butterflies of the zodiac are fit for one pastry and one only–IL CORNETTO. This beloved breakfast item resembles a French croissant, though the latter is much more buttery, flakey, and light (though, come to think of it, croissants might be a better analogy for the Gemini, who embody buttery compliments, flaky plan-making, and light-hearted moods like no other… but we digress). The Italian cornetto is dense, soft, and sweet, extra glossy and appealing thanks to a swipe of egg yolk on top. Gemini, too, are quick to gloss over subjects as they jump from one to the next quicker than the barista makes espressos; but don’t think that means they’re lacking in substance. Cornetti too may be ordered vuoto (empty), but they’re more delicious filled with custards, jams, chocolate, or even meats and cheeses. Gemini are just as adaptable, able to talk to anyone about anything as they flit from work to aperitivo to dinner to party, adopting whichever “flavor” will prove to be most appealing to their current audience. Salty and sweet, pain and pleasure, good and evil… they’re all two sides of the same coin, as Gemini–the infamous “twins”–know well. Due to its shape, the pastry is called “cornetto”, meaning “little horn”. And while Gemini can sometimes give advice that seems more like it’s your fourth Aperol spritz talking, Italians actually wear a red pendant resembling a horn or chili pepper called a cornetto to help ward off evil. These air signs might have an attention span that’s limited to the time it takes to finish your morning cornetto e cappuccino, but both are certainly the energy kicks that will help you get through your day.
CANCER
The BOMBOLONI of the pastry case and the first water sign of the zodiac, these crabs are renowned for their emotional intelligence and their maternal instincts; they really just want to feel needed, as if they were a bombolone at a carnival longingly pointed at by an almost-in-tears child. From 17th-century Tuscany, bomboloni are similar to American doughnuts, though they’re formed into a ball rather than a ring and have a longer leavening time; the thick doughy sphere is piped full of some sort of flavored custard or jam. Much like their crustaceous counterparts, Cancers have shells–but their walls aren’t too difficult to tear down, and once you get through, you’ll find their sweet, tender hearts. Fiercely protective, Cancers aren’t ones for direct conflict, but boy do they have a distinctive type of passive aggression; beware (!) of saying something negative about someone they love. Take similar care when biting into a bombolone or you’ll end up with powdered sugar on your nose and sticky jam dribbling down your favorite sweater. But at the end of the day, you can easily clean up some cream or jam, and Cancers’ crabbiness is quickly outweighed by their big hearts. And, when you have a bout of hangxiety on a Sunday morning, Cancers will be there for you–most likely with a box of fresh, hot bomboloni in hand.
LEO
For the lions that rule the proverbial zodiac jungle, their pastry match is the PANETTONE, the king of all Italian desserts. This adored sweet bread is used to the limelight, much like effortlessly theatrical Leos, whose natural charisma is just as buttery, addictive, and distinctive as a panettone. These fire signs love to celebrate (most often, themselves), and there’s no pastry as celebratory as a panettone, the centerpiece of all Italian tables come Christmastime. The festive treat is laden with jewels of candied fruit and raisins, much like a Leo is constantly glittering with the newest designer accessory, and has an orange-flavored dough–which matches Leo’s natural (albeit a bit loud) zest for life. Though Leos can sometimes seem a bit too preoccupied with themselves, they’re ruled by the sun, which gives them an innate stability, loyalty, and consistency, the way a classic panettone remains steadfast amidst a slew of increasingly weird flavor combinations. These lions’ signature warmth is as comforting as a slice of panettone on Christmas, and neither need a single embellishment to make them any more loveable (unless you’re toasting your slice of panettone and dipping it in mascarpone cream a la Marchesi). Leos love to watch their friends succeed… until they feel threatened; but no worries here, for not even the pandoro can oust the panettone from its holiday spotlight. These fiery leaders, however, would never settle for being celebrated on just one holiday–even one as grand as Christmas–and we dare say panettone deserves to be enjoyed all year round too.
VIRGO
The pastry version of a Virgo is undoubtedly the CROSTATA, the workhorse of the Italian pastry cannon. Virgos are logical and practical, everything that a classic crostata is as well. The pie-like dessert gets its name from the all-import crosta (crust), in this case pasta frolla–a rich shortcrust pastry made of butter, flour, sugar–that gets baked first and then topped with anything: jam, cream, nutella, fruit, or our favorite, visciole. The top is systematically and exactingly latticed with more pasta frolla, a detail-oriented design a Virgo would certainly seem to have had their hand in. The humble crostata often gets pushed out of the spotlight when its luxurious, cream-filled, oozing pastry counterparts come around, and Virgos, too, are not to be found front and center. Rather, they patiently wait around on the sidelines, ready for whenever you need a helping hand–or a reality check. In a world of unknowns, two things are guaranteed: the crostata will be on every Italian bakery case and dessert menu, and a Virgo will be a diligent friend. Incredibly resourceful problem solvers, Virgos’ obsessive detail-orientation can often make them perfectionists. But they don’t need to put so much pressure on themselves. Exhibit A: simple crostate are perfect as they are. Virgos thrive in situations where they can provide clear answers, and there’s no better solution to “what can I bring to the [party, brunch, high tea, potluck, housewarming, new neighbors]” than a crowd-pleasing crostata.
LIBRA
The peace-keepers of the zodiac are a MARITOZZO, Rome’s renowned soft bun overflowing with a sumptuous mound of whipped cream. These air signs are true aesthetes, obsessed with all things pretty; plump little maritozzo are practically begging to be admired, and though they’ll never admit it, Libras–ruled by Venus–are as well. Plus, the treat is just about as people-pleasing as a Libra–I mean, who wouldn’t like a bun filled with whipped cream?–who are relentless in their desire to be liked by everyone. Relationships are paramount for Libras and for maritozzi, whose name literally comes from “marito”, meaning husband. In 19th century Rome, future husbands would conceal their engagement rings within maritozzi; Libras would love the attention from a gesture this (literally) sweet. Other origin stories for this yeasty bun say that young women in search of a husband would present heart-shaped maritozzi to the village’s most handsome men, who would wed the girl that baked the finest one–a challenge that suave Libras would certainly be up for. However, in their pursuit of being loved by all, Libras have to be careful not to get distracted by the next cream-filled pastry that comes along–chances are it won’t be better than the maritozzo, anyway.
SCORPIO
CANNOLI are the perfect pastry for these scorpions. Though they are known first and foremost for their sting, to limit them to this feisty trait would be a disservice. That would be like only talking about a cannolo’s shell. In reality, it’s the balance of creamy and crunchy that make cannoli so loved, and the balance of bluntness with looking-deep-into-your soul charm that make these water signs so captivating. Much like cannoli, scorpios have a hard (hard!) shell; they hold their cards close to their chest, but don’t let that discourage you, for with enough witty banter and answering deep questions about your childhood, you might get one to crack open. Underneath, you’ll find a subtle sweetness–often from an addition of candied fruit or chocolate chips–but don’t expect the utmost comfort from a Scorpio (who are great at “there, there” pats on the back). Similarly, don’t expect an eggy custard or fluffy whipped cream from a cannolo, but a light, smooth cream made of ricotta (preferably sheep’s milk) and sugar, and maybe dotted with chocolate chips. On a good day, Scorpios are ambitious and enticing and cannoli are fresh, crunchy, and tangy; but on a bad day, scorpios are power hungry and manipulative, and cannoli are sugary, soggy, and one dimensional. With both, you really never know what you’re going to get. The dessert comes from Arab traditions in Sicily and the indulgences of pre-lent festivities during Carnival; anyone who’s been swept up by the fiercely enchanting smile of a Scoprio can understand that they can also be quite the indulgence. Their magnetic energy is irresistibly addictive, and cannoli, too, keep you coming back–holding the number one position for exported Italian pastries on this list. Plus, their enigmatic nature makes these scorpions so dang seductive… similar to, say, the shape of a cannolo.
SAGITTARIUS
Sagittariuses are FROLLINI, a blanket term for all the little cookies that line pasticceria windows. For the sign that bounces between adventures, lovers, ideas, and emotions so quickly, it would be too limiting to pare them down to just one variety. Frollini are made of pasta frolla, a buttery shortcrust pastry, and they come in limitless shapes and sizes–perfect for this freedom-loving sign, who hates feeling bound to rules. Frollini are simple, and Sagittarians certainly don’t need much to turn any situation into a memorable rager thanks to their “all play and no work” attitude–which, may we add, they take quite seriously. However, their passionate enthusiasm can lead them to be blunt and arrogant, just like frollini can be a bit crumbly or bland. But it’s nothing a hot espresso or tea can’t fix, and Sagittariuses’ wild optimism shines through their sometimes-rough edges. Sagittarians pretty much abide by the theory of go big or go home, but the archers walk a fine line between being everywhere at once and overcommitment–too much of a good thing applies to frollini as well, and you can quickly end up with a stomach ache when you’ve eaten more than you should (an easy occurrence).
CAPRICORN
Capricorns are said to age backwards, so the perfect dessert for them is one based on rice pudding, notoriously a favorite of both young children and grandfathers everywhere: BUDINO DI RISO. You’ll most likely only find budino di riso in the bars of Tuscany, which is very Capricorn of them–they won’t be caught hanging around parties or events they don’t deem absolutely necessary to their immediate happiness and/or future life. This cucina povera dish employs leftover rice cooked into a pudding, flavored with orange or vanilla, and enclosed in a soft, shortcrust pastry; just the type of thing thrifty Capricorns would have created, since their penny pinching skills make them excellent at the leftover game. Capricorns are unapologetically forward–they won’t waste their time discussing what outfit you should wear for the umteenth time, and they certainly aren’t going to tell you you look good if you don’t. But it’s this total lack of sugar coating that makes them so endearing, and a budino di riso, though it may get a dusting of powdered sugar, is way less sweet than the other cream-filled items on this list. The pastry is about as no-nonsense as a Capricorn, but that doesn’t mean both don’t know how to let loose–every once in a while, you’ll come across a budino di riso flavored with Sambuca, giving an anise-y, boozy kick that’s as surprising as the few nights a year you catch your Capricorn friend ripping tequila shots and dancing on a table. Capricorns might seem cold and restrained at first, and a budino di riso might seem plain and even texturally strange; but give them a chance, and you’ll find both to be surprisingly rich, the pastry a particularly sensible breakfast choice so you have less of a sugar spike (and crash) and can better focus on your long-term goals, Capricorn style.
AQUARIUS
Aquarians find their match in ‘MPANATIGGHI, a very special treat from Modica, Sicily. These crescent-shaped pastries have a lard-based shortcrust that’s filled with chocolate, almond, warm spices, and… minced beef. No, we didn’t make a mistake like Rachel with her trifle in Friends; this breakfast treat actually has a hearty dose of protein in it. Aquarians are innovative, rebellious, and hate the mainstream–the epitome of what ‘mpanatigghi are. Always on a quest to stand out, Aquarians can be spotted donning eyebrow slits, neon colors, and anything that’s loudly not on trend, spouting manifestos and big ideas to change the world on the macro level–they’re certainly not afraid to make a statement, but underneath, their eccentricity is actually not as off-putting as it may appear. ‘Mpanatigghi actually don’t taste of beef, but of chocolate, cinnamon, clove, and almond. Some claim the dessert was created by nuns–with rebel spirits that certainly match those of Aquarians–who placed the meat inside chocolate cake to help hungry villagers during lean periods; others say that the name and shape were inspired by Spanish empanadas. An Aquarius thrives on shock value, so if you’re looking to impress one, you know what dessert to give them.
PISCES
Pisces often toe the line between fantasy and reality, much like the ethereal SFOGLIATELLA, made of thin, fine, delicate, undeniably crispy sheets of dough and filled with a cream of ricotta and semolina. Pisces have as many layers as a sfogliatella does to their personality, and if it seems like they’re daydreaming, it could be that they’re actually trying to remember the lyrics to a melancholy song they heard earlier or that they’re busy wondering how you’re feeling. Though they can sometimes seem detached or delusional, behind their rose-colored glasses, Pisces are as compassionate as the nun that invented sfogliatella. The dessert was born in the 17th century in the Santa Rosa da Lima convent in Naples: rather than waste leftover semolina dough, the nun made a filling of dried fruit, ricotta, sugar, and limoncello, covered it with puff pastry, and fashioned it into the form of a monk’s cap. This sort of imagination is certainly on par with that of Pisces, who are known for their ability to turn nothing into more than something. The sfogliatella has quite the special shape as well, often likened to a seashell or lobster tail, which appeals to Pisces’s ability to see endless possibilities–not to mention calls attention to these fishies’ love of water. Sometimes all it takes to bring a Pisces back down to earth is a bite of a fresh sfogliatella (that or an in-depth discussion on some poem or book you only meant to mention in passing).
