“I can’t live with him but I can’t live without him”–the words I pronounced on the phone, while uncontrollably sobbing to my mom the day before ending things… but this story is not about him. It’s about everything that came after him.

A few very blurry, unstable, heart-wrenching months; two new cities; what seemed like an unfillable void; and a couple of unmemorable dates later, I found myself feeling again! 

“Ti giuro questa volta sono seria, mi piace veramente!” / “I swear this time I’m serious, I really like him!”

“Ma sei sicura?? E’ il mio migliore amico! Poi se cambi idea, diventa una situazione poco piacevole per tutti.” / “Are you sure?? He’s my best friend! If you change your mind, it becomes an unpleasant situation for everyone.”

“Te lo prometto, questa volta e’ diverso.” / “I promise you, this time is different.”

Embarrassingly and excitedly I stood in the middle of Rome’s Ponte Cavour making my point, convincing my brother that dating his best friend was a good idea.

He gave me, probably out of exhaustion (I can be strenuously persuasive 😉), an unconvincing shrug, followed by, “Ok, fai quello che vuoi…” (“Ok, do what you want…”)

We understood that we liked each other without saying a word. We exchanged secret impertinent looks over big group dinners, we drank our way through meals, we dropped everything and escaped to the beach for midweek lunches, we watched movies and cuddled up–it was the kind, innocent, fun, sweetheart teenage love that, although in my 20s, I had never had, but needed then more than ever. It was a love that didn’t last more than three months (my short-lasting infatuation for this boy was sealed by a “Te lo avevo detto,” “I told you so,” from my brother), but gave me myself back and reminded me that what might feel like the end of the world is just an opportunity for an exciting new beginning.

Tutto passa! Everything passes!