This is a story that I’m not sure is a story. I don’t know if it has a real beginning, but I think it has already come to an end. It began this summer in Maremma, at a party that a friend throws every year at his estate; it then continued a little in Florence and a lot in my head, a place that teems with a vivid imagination. 

I want to give you a picture of the beginning. We are in front of a long table at the end of a meal: tablecloths stained with sauce and wine, empty coffee cups, bitters left open and almost finished. Across from me, randomly, sits a guy–have you ever met someone, looked into their eyes, and immediately thought, “oh fuck, I’m screwed?” 

Here, this summer, in the fragment of a second, I thought this on the basis of absolutely nonexistent assumptions. Today, I have some more information about him that I share with you: he is from Florence and has lived in Vienna for many years, the last of which he spent with who, until recently, was his girlfriend. He is brilliant, charismatic, friendly, passionate and exciting, with perfect hands, a great ability to speak (made witty by a rather marked lisp), and a smile that you would like to see every morning, every day of your life.

I’m in bad shape guys, bad, bad…

In these months, among dreams and illusions, this story that is not a story has continued in Florence. We had a first kiss in front of the bathroom door of Cibreo Caffé; we spent a crazy night in Piazza Tasso and faced an ugly fight in Piazza della Repubblica. We made up in Chianti during what was supposed to be a lunch and turned into a long day and night spent together. 

How can I explain that this person makes even the most mundane speech remarkable? 

Nothing is ever obvious and nothing is ever boring. 

The truth is that in my 30s, after a series of sentimental failures, I became convinced that “if you have nothing, you have nothing to lose.” I realized, however, that cynicism is just a rotten fruit of disillusionment and that there are people worth losing for, because no matter how events turn out, you are still the winner of moments of extraordinary happiness.